Sorry really is the hardest word
by ninja-bitch
Summary: Shisui's last night alive. Itachi X Shisui rated R for yaoi, sex


**This one shot has got adult content and hardcore yaoi (boyXboy), so if you are sensitive to such subjects it might be a good idea to look away now!! **

Itachi let his feet lead him to where he was meeting Shisui. His mind was racing but his face stayed forever neutral, the way he had taught himself to remain at all times. He knew where he was supposed to be, and he knew where he was going but the two were completely separate: one was the path his father had set him when he first understood how powerful the young shinobi was, the second was the path Itachi had decided to follow even though it would mean heart wrenching decisions and pain that he would probably never get over and would have to live with for the rest of his life. But it was the path he had chosen, and he would follow it until the very end.

The dark haired boy sighed as he came to the waterfront, the slowly running rivers soft gurgling noises soothing the thirteen year old as his heart raced, pumping blood throughout his powerful body. Why wasn't he here? Was anyone else here? Had he been betrayed?

'Hey Itachi!' came a familiar voice behind the young shinobi. He spun around to see the handsome friendly face he had grown to adore over the years, which had shown him the way of the ninja, which had shown him so much more than anyone else had. Shisui was waving lazily at him from his crouching position on top of an electric wire with the silvery moon shining behind him, a posture which Itachi found compelling, a friendly smile drawn across his attractive lips.

Itachi made his way over to him slowly, smiling up at him as he prepared to jump down and meet his friend. His short black hair flicked in front of his eyes as he landed softly on the hard road, his Jonin uniform moulding his shapely figure as he straightened up again a cool smile on his good-looking face. He pulled his forehead protector down off of his forehead so that it dangled around his neck as he let out a soft sigh.

'I think that thing was raping my brain!' said Shisui loudly, not caring if anyone could hear him or not. Itachi smiled at him in awe: he didn't care about what people thought, he didn't care about what he was _expected_ to do or know or how he was _supposed_ to act. 'Does that sound familiar to you? I'm sure I've heard that before…' he continued, looking off into the distance with a thoughtful expression on his face.

'I don't think I've heard it.' said the other, younger boy quietly trying to please the older. Shisui frowned briefly before looking back at Itachi with a friendly smile etched on his features, loving the feeling of superiority his younger friend gave him.

'So Itachi, what have you been up to?' he asked amicably, leading the way along the river side through the semi darkness. 'How's life in the Anbu black squad treating you?' He sniffed as something made his nose itch uncomfortably. 'I think there are mosquitoes out here- anyway, as I was saying, I don't envy you.' Itachi watched him in adoration as he walked beside him. 'I mean, you're always supposed to be somewhere and you've always got something to do. Must be really stressful.'

'It's not that bad.' answered the thirteen year old, trying to sound casual as he continued to gaze up at Shisui although all he really wanted to do was listen to him talk, his smooth voice almost caressing his ears as it reverberated around them.

'Even so, you've always loved having something to do, haven't you?' he asked, not really paying much attention to his quite little friend. He didn't really think about the fact that Itachi could easily defeat him and bring him to his knees, he knew Itachi would never do that to him because they were best friends. 'I guess you meet lots of new people and stuff-'

'None as interesting as you.'

'And I suppose the fact that you're in the Anbu black squad is pretty good when you're trying to impress the ladies.' continued Shisui as though Itachi hadn't said anything, but the younger boy didn't care. He blushed as he thought of trying to impress girls, unfortunately Shisui noticed. 'I see you blushing!' he exclaimed, nudging him affectionately in the arm gently making Itachi grin even more awkwardly. 'Well as you may or may not know my relationship is on the rocks.' said the Jonin, grimacing as he looked ahead of him again not noticing Itachi's eyes light up with hope as he carved an anxious and regretful expression onto his own handsome features.

'What happened?' he asked wondering whether he dared put his hand on Shisui's arm. He decided against it, instead opting to keep them swinging lazily by his sides as they meandered along the river bank.

'Well, Ruuhi said that I wasn't there for her enough.' he admitted, scratching his nose again. 'I really think the mozzies are out and about. Can you hear them?' Itachi shook his head. 'Hmm, me neither. Oh well, it doesn't matter. Anyway, Ruuhi said that she needed someone who would choose her over his friends.'

'You chose me over her?' asked Itachi quickly, stopping in his tracks as aspiration filled his expression. Shisui stopped a few paces in front of him and looked back with a bemused look on his features, before a pitying smile crept onto his pale lips.

'Repeatedly.' he answered, more quietly than his usual loud self. 'Get your ass over here.' he added, jerking his head in the direction they were heading, indicating that Itachi was to follow him which he did exceptionally willingly.

They walked on in silence for a while, the companionable silence satisfying them as they meandered through the village along side the river which continued to gurgle happily. Itachi wanted to touch him, wanted to feel the sensation of Shisui's soft skin on his, smell his faint aroma, taste his…

'What are we doing?' came his debonair voice, ripping the young boy from his private little dream world back into the painful reality. He gazed over at the handsome face which was looking around at their unfamiliar surroundings with a curious expression.

'I- err… I don't really know.' admitted Itachi, smiling up at the black haired boy who smiled back down at him with a sort of friendly smile mixed with bemusement.

'You're crazy.' he said chuckling as he did so, he softly punched him in the shoulder as he turned to go back. 'Weren't you supposed to be somewhere tonight?' he asked gazing down at the younger boy walking beside him, watching a guilty smile grow. 'What was it? Some Anbu thing?'

'A meeting or something.' answered the dark haired boy, trying not to sound as though he was too interested in what he did for a living in case that made him sound like a nerd, although he wondered which nerd would be on the Anbu black squad.

'Tell me about what you do.' said the older boy in the Jonin jacket, his handsome face neutral as he gazed down at Itachi. The older boy stopped, looking over at a stump on the ground, propped up against a wall; he walked over to it and sat down, leaning his elbows on his shapely thighs and gazed up at Itachi expectantly.

'Umm… well, I'm in a group of three…' started the younger boy, thrown by his friend's sudden interest in what he did and sitting down opposite him. 'I uhh… well, the groups vary from mission to mission and uhh… they have to pick out who will suit which assignment best.' he noticed Shisui smiling at him patronisingly. 'What? What are you smiling about?' he asked nervously.

'You're so desperate, Itachi.' he said quietly, leaning forwards a little before brushing his hair out of his eye elegantly. The young Anbu stared at his friend enquiringly, a small frown across his handsome forehead. 'How long have you been in love with me for?' the words passed his lips so gracefully, but as they hung in the cool night air it was as if they were trying to throttle the young boy where he was kneeling on the firm ground.

Itachi didn't know what to say; should he deny? Should he just admit that he had loved Shisui since their very first meeting. But he was deprived of the need to answer when the older boy leaned even further forwards, so that the two were only inches apart, their noses gently touching. Shisui let his pale lips part softly, letting his breath wash over his young friend before pushing his face a little further forward so that both pairs of lips were brushing across each others. He watched as Itachi let his eyes close in ecstasy, his soft lips also parting as he waited for Shisui to move a little further forward, the delicious sensation of impeding heaven making his breathing heavy. But it didn't come. Itachi was desperate, he didn't know what was going to happen, he didn't know what Shisui was trying to do but all he knew was that he didn't want to open his eyes again in case he found that it was all a dream.

'Shisui… don't do this to me…' he whispered urgently, not wanting to pull away and yet not daring to push forwards. He felt the other boys breath on his face as he let out a small laugh, tearing Itachi apart as he dangled paradise just in front of his nose, just out of reach. 'Don't tease me like-'

Before he could finish his sentence he felt Shisui push forwards gently, pressing his warm lips onto Itachi's and his hands on his thighs as he moved onto his knees. Itachi gasped as Shisui's hands fumbled with the top button of his trousers, pushing harder on his lips as desire coursed through both of their bodies. He fell backwards, forcing their lips to part and leaning up on his elbows to see Shisui ripping the fabric of his trousers, giving him access to the young mans rock hard erection. Giving Itachi one last mischievous look he lowered his head and put the whole organ in his mouth, making Itachi cry out in ecstasy and throw his head back, his dark eyes closed.

After a moment of intense pleasure for Itachi, Shisui tired of giving head and moved his way slowly up his companions body, pulling the material off of his chest and licking delicately around his dark nipples as Itachi's chest heaved appealingly. He ripped the shirt underneath the jacket and slipped his hand underneath his back, slowly letting it find it's way down his back and into the lose trousers, pressing his lips against Itachi's and relishing the look of rapture on his handsome young face. Itachi cried out in surprise as one of Shisui's fingers delicately circled around his entrance before gently nuzzling it's way inside, forcing a gasp out of his already open mouth. He felt Shisui laugh as he licked his neck tenderly, both their breathing heavy as Itachi reached down Shisui's toned chest, finding his shirt already torn off, and down into his trousers which were also already open, as though Shisui knew he would need some help. The young Anbu felt Shisui's sharp intake as he grasped his large hard on which pulsated deliciously beneath his hesitant fingers.

'Go on…' breathed the older boy to Itachi, still kissing his neck and collar bone, enthusing his young friend to start slowly masturbating him before slowly gaining confidence and speeding up, listening to his friends shallow yet loud breath. The third finger was gently inserted inside Itachi, making him moan loudly as his entrance slowly adapted to the new sensations, before the black haired jonin pulled them out again to Itachi's dismay but he simply invited him to roll over onto his front which the novice Anbu did without complaint.

Itachi's mouth opened wide, crying out loudly as Shisui penetrated him slowly, not pushing the whole of his organ in at first but when Itachi started moaning in enjoyment he gradually pushed himself in further and further until he was in to the hilt, thrusting harder and faster than before. Itachi screwed his eyes up as he felt Shisui's sweaty hands on his hot hips, being pushed forwards rhythmically as he pushed himself inside him repeatedly. After a minute Shisui tired of that and sat back on his feet, pulling Itachi gently back with his so that the younger boy was sitting in Shisui's lap, unsure of what to do. The Jonin gently invited the Anbu to lift himself up which he did, willing to learn from the man he idolised and loved, before letting himself slowly fall back into his seat. The delicious feeling of Shisui grinding inside him making Itachi moan over and over again as he lowered himself onto the jonin, feeling his firm hands caress his sweaty chest lovingly. He felt the gentle fingers slide graciously down his stomach, down to his erection which was throbbing lusciously and gently stroking the base with a loving finger before grasping it and starting to masturbate the young Anbu.

Shisui knew that Itachi was close, and indeed he could feel himself slowly coming to a peak as the young man's tender cavern slowly clenched deliciously, making his screw his eyes up and growl out in lust as he came inside his best friend, listening to Itachi's voice as he cried out, feeling the semen seep out and down his fingers as he slowed his rhythmic movements.

Itachi clambered off of his best friend, his limbs weak from the utter strength of their moment together, but a dreamy smile on his handsome face. He lay down on the cool ground, feeling the soft drizzle which had started while they had been too busy to care, and looked over at Shisui who was already putting his torn clothes back on and wiping the residues from his groin.

'Can't we just lie here for a moment?' asked Itachi a little disappointedly as he admired Shisui's toned chest, the chest which he had lusted after for so long and yet had never in his wildest dreams imagined he would ever be able to caress. He reached over and tried to stroke him gently but Shisui took a step away, buttoning up his trousers again without a word. 'Shisui?'

'We should really get going.' he said quickly, still not looking at Itachi who longed to see his handsome face, his luscious lips, his deep sensuous eyes. 'You were good.' he added finally looking up and smiling down at the thirteen year old amicably, but Itachi knew that that was all it was: amicable. That was all it would ever be, and it was slowly killing him; Shisui was slowly killing him with his addictive laugh, his gorgeous smile, his drug-like charm.

'I love you Shisui.' said Itachi quietly, hoping against hope that he might just smile back at him, and reply the same thing. But the older teenager simply picked up his jonin jacket and slipped his arms through the sleeveless holes and gazed down at his friend.

'Do you know what the hardest word to say is?' he asked, trying to smile but it was clear to Itachi that Shisui couldn't force emotions onto his striking face, if he looked happy then he really was happy, if he looked sad then that was what he was. If he looked uncomfortable, then he didn't feel the same way. 'It's the word that noone seems to be able to say with complete sincerity. It's not the sentence "I love you",' Itachi felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end as the words passed his lips with a certain scepticism , wishing he had said those exact words to him, but Shisui hadn't finished. 'it's the words "I'm sorry".'

There was silence between the two young men. Noone could have imagined the pain which was bringing Itachi's world crashing to the ground, smashed to smithereens as he waited with baited breath for what he knew was coming. He watched in slow motion as the man in front of him elegantly opened his mouth, the mouth which Itachi had been kissing minutes before, and which was now about to seal his future.

'I'm so sorry, Itachi.' came his silver-tongued voice, sounding as though he was miles away from the young Anbu who was now sitting up, clutching his torn clothes to his body in a faint attempt to hide his shame. He got to his feet and clambered inelegantly into his clothes, his feet shuffling in the dirty grass and his hair falling across his handsome, yet broken face.

He felt as though he was burning from the inside out, Shisui had set fire to his heart and now expected it to be doused out by a tiny trickle, expecting Itachi to continue hiding his emotions for him the same way he had before. But he couldn't. He had to have him all to himself. He had to stand tall and shout from the rooftops that Shisui was his and his alone, that noone could lay a finger on him, that noone could come between them. Shisui had dangled heaven in front of his eyes, had given Itachi a taste of what things could be like, and now he was yanking it away from him again and expecting him to continue his life as though nothing had happened.

'You're right Shisui.' said Itachi, his torn clothes hanging from his own toned body and the tears running silently down his cheeks. He slowly turned around to face the man he loved, his usually dark eyes burning with the sharingan, reflecting how he felt inside. 'Sorry really is the hardest word.'

The next day the police came round to Itachi's home, telling him the sad news that Shisui Uchiha had died and that the cause was probably suicide. But Sasuke Uchiha noticed a new form of Sharingan in his brothers eyes as he glared after his father, hate filling his usually neutral dark blue eyes.


End file.
